So how does a parent begin to manage the emotional energy of their intuitively sensitive child? This was something I had to figure out for my son Caden who began to see colors around children at school.
Caden had communicated with us from the age of three how he could see colors in his room and later around people, but the challenge now became how to assist him with managing this emotional energy while he was in school and in other public places. It became an issue when he would come home from school and within a short time would have a meltdown over what seemed to be insignificant to us. For instance, he became quite angry at a neighbor boy who threw his tennis ball for the dog to fetch; or he would burst into tears about something his brother did, which he had probably done half a dozen times. Another thing I became aware of was his shift in story telling. He would tell a story about something that happened in school as if it happened to him, but my intuition would always lead me to asking if this had happened to another child and he would almost always answer “yes.” He was deeply impacted by kids picking on other kids or someone hurting a friend’s feelings. Soon I was certain he was empathic and what was happening was he would absorb the feelings and emotions of everyone around him.
So what did I do to help him manage this energy? Nine times out of ten he was already in a flurry of emotion by the time we reached the root cause of the outburst so I would take him to his room, have him lay down and begin breathing; then I would put one hand on his heart and rub his leg or arm to relax his nervous system. This could take anywhere from 5-15 minutes, but once he was grounded enough to focus, he could release the emotion he absorbed and communicate the reason for the meltdown. Another technique Caden discovered for himself was going into the backyard to put his feet in the dirt; this is an excellent way for a child to naturally ground them self. Lastly, for Caden specifically, we always make sure to have access to water whether via the bathtub, a pool, or a hot tub. If you’ve ever noticed your child’s desire to spend a lot of time in the water, especially at times he/ she seems irritated, this may be the reason.
In our next story, I will share the technique I taught Caden for keeping the energy of other’s from affecting him to this degree. It’s especially important for intuitively sensitive children to have tools they can use to safeguard their space from the energy of others
Copyright 2008 by Tara Paterson, All Rights Reserved
www.ParentingIntuitives.com
Co-author- Raising Intuitive Children
(New Page Books, spring '09)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Intuitive Parenting of Gifted Children
As a child gets older, the way they interpret energy and how they see things in the invisible realm, shifts from a description like- “I see colors” to “I see colors around people and I know what they mean.”
I always had an intuitive nudge to find an alternative schooling option for Caden, because I knew he had a special gift and I was concerned it may be shut down if he went into a traditional educational system. We made several attempts to find an alternative, from putting our house on the market to move 2 1/2 hours away for a specific school to a possible 35 minute commute in another county. Neither turned out to be a feasible option and we entered him into our public elementary school. Initially he didn’t seem to have a difficult time adjusting to a classroom full of kids, but what I did notice was his propensity to have a meltdown over seemingly trivial things. At times it was a challenge for him to verbally communicate what was bothering him, but what began to reveal itself was his clairvoyant ability expanding from colors in the safety of his room to colors around the other kids and his ability to interpret what the colors meant. When I asked him if he knew what the colors meant, he would respond with “yes and sometimes they come at me.” I began asking him what different colors meant and he would tell me- “red means someone’s mad” or “pink means someone is nice..” etc. So I asked him how he felt when the colors came at him and often times he would get mad and verbalize they invaded his space.
It would take me another year to fully understand how this was affecting him on an energetic level as the story’s he would tell, revealed a whole new dimension for me as an intuitive parent. I would also have to learn new techniques for how to help him manage this emotional energy he was feeling which I will share next time!
©2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI, All Rights Reserved
co-author- Raising Intuitive Children (New Page Books, spring '09)
For more information, visit Intuitives Online at http://www.intuitivesonline.com/
I always had an intuitive nudge to find an alternative schooling option for Caden, because I knew he had a special gift and I was concerned it may be shut down if he went into a traditional educational system. We made several attempts to find an alternative, from putting our house on the market to move 2 1/2 hours away for a specific school to a possible 35 minute commute in another county. Neither turned out to be a feasible option and we entered him into our public elementary school. Initially he didn’t seem to have a difficult time adjusting to a classroom full of kids, but what I did notice was his propensity to have a meltdown over seemingly trivial things. At times it was a challenge for him to verbally communicate what was bothering him, but what began to reveal itself was his clairvoyant ability expanding from colors in the safety of his room to colors around the other kids and his ability to interpret what the colors meant. When I asked him if he knew what the colors meant, he would respond with “yes and sometimes they come at me.” I began asking him what different colors meant and he would tell me- “red means someone’s mad” or “pink means someone is nice..” etc. So I asked him how he felt when the colors came at him and often times he would get mad and verbalize they invaded his space.
It would take me another year to fully understand how this was affecting him on an energetic level as the story’s he would tell, revealed a whole new dimension for me as an intuitive parent. I would also have to learn new techniques for how to help him manage this emotional energy he was feeling which I will share next time!
©2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI, All Rights Reserved
co-author- Raising Intuitive Children (New Page Books, spring '09)
For more information, visit Intuitives Online at http://www.intuitivesonline.com/
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Parenting Intuitive Children
What does a parent say to their intuitive child when they say things like- “mommy I see colors in my room,” or “I see colors around people and sometimes they are coming at me?” These are exactly the things my son Caden has been saying to me since the age of three. I remember sitting in his room with him at night and he would tell me how he could see colors moving around and how they would either enter or leave his room. They never seemed to scare him, but he wasn’t exactly sure why they were there. As an intuitive myself, I would simply reply with “they are angels honey,” and I would explain how different angels represented different colors based on the particular energy they were made up of. I would also ask him questions such as “do they frighten you?” or “do they make you feel good?” and often he would respond with how they made him feel safe. He wasn’t ever frightened, but it was the first of many experiences I would have as an intuitive parent and later a coach for parents of intuitives as my journey into the spiritual realm began to unfold. It also reflected back a memory I had long since forgotten about in my own youth of also seeing colors dance around on my ceiling at night.
So how does this intuitive gift evolve as a child gets older and is affected by the outside world? Stay tuned as Caden begins to see colors around other people.
©2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI, All Rights Reserved
co-author- Raising Intuitive Children (New Page Books, spring '09)
So how does this intuitive gift evolve as a child gets older and is affected by the outside world? Stay tuned as Caden begins to see colors around other people.
©2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI, All Rights Reserved
co-author- Raising Intuitive Children (New Page Books, spring '09)
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
NBC's Baby Borrowers Show
We have finally stooped to a new all time low with reality T.V. shows! So what do we value in this country more? Our children or ratings? Well it appears according to NBC's latest (let's make an impression on teens show) Baby Borrowers, we value ratings above all else.
As a mother of three (my 4th on the way), a parent coach, author, speaker and spokesparent, I am apalled at what NBC feels is acceptable treatment for the most innocent among us, children. Infants and toddlers being isolated from their parents in order to make an impression on teens as a form of birth control?! What the heck will they do next, baby swap? As if swapping wives; selecting a mate on T.V.; and filming your life for the world to see isn't enough, we have now officially established an agenda to damage children on national T.V.
To the parents who agreed to allow their children to be test subjects, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves and for the producers, I hope America has enough sense to send your ratings plummeting.
©2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI™ Certified Coach for Parents of Intuitives
Please read the following article with more details and research on how damaging this is!
ZERO TO THREE Statement Regarding NBC's Reality Series "Baby Borrowers"“It’s not TV, it’s birth control” is how NBC promotes its new reality series “Baby Borrowers.” On June 25th, the show will be launched on national television as an “intriguing new social experiment that asks five diverse teenage couples to fast-track to adulthood by setting up a home, getting a job and becoming caring parents.” Unfortunately, the NBC series exploits very young children in the pursuit of entertainment.
The babies and toddlers participating in this series will be separated from their parents and caregivers for three days. Unfamiliar teenagers will take care of them during this time. This setup can be very harmful for the babies and toddlers involved. For the past 80 years, many studies have shown unequivocally that babies and toddlers suffer when they are exposed to this kind of prolonged separation from family and left with people that they do not know or love. As all parents know, babies and toddlers are very distressed by separation. They cry, cling, and search for their parents. The longer the separation, the more upset they become. Some children are unable to sleep and refuse to eat. The responses routinely last long past the child’s reunion with the parent. Prolonged separations heighten young children’s separation anxiety and damage their trust that their parents will be available to protect and care for them. Children can become angry and rejecting of their parents after being reunited with them, damaging the fabric of the child-parent relationship.
These findings have become the basis for a new science of early childhood. A robust body of early childhood development and brain research clearly confirms the critical nature of early development. It is a time when young children form attachments with parents and caregivers, develop security and a sense of self, and learn what to expect from the world around them. Studies show that babies and toddlers need to feel safe and secure in order to form a positive sense of self, to form healthy relationships, and to feel confident to explore their world. This sense of security is dependent on the availability and stability of their trusted primary caregivers. Being separated for a
three-day period from a parent or trusted, familiar adult, and being thrust into the care of a total stranger who has no experience with the child—how he or she is comforted, likes to be fed, held, etc.—and who has no experience caring for young children at all, can be very stressful for the child.
As a “safeguard,” NBC has hired a nanny to be nearby in case there are concerns. However the nanny is no more familiar to that child than the two strangers who will be caring for him for three days. The nanny does not know him or what his signals
mean—such as what he needs when he cries out in the middle of the night, or how he shows he is hungry, tired, or is overwhelmed and needs a break from play. Moreover, even though the parents of these young children are watching via closed-circuit television, the babies are not aware of that and have no way of knowing how long the parents will be gone.
Legitimate social experiments are not conducted on national television or on reality shows. "Baby Borrowers" may have a catchy theme, but it exploits young children with potential harmful consequences. This is no social experiment. It is an extremely misguided endeavor that puts at risk our most vulnerable citizens, young children who need our love and protection.
We welcome your feedback on our ZERO TO THREE Alert at tsalyers@zerotothree.org.
ZERO TO THREE: National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families 2000 M St. NW | Suite 200 | Washington, DC | 20036 | (800) 899-4301 | (703) 661-1500
As a mother of three (my 4th on the way), a parent coach, author, speaker and spokesparent, I am apalled at what NBC feels is acceptable treatment for the most innocent among us, children. Infants and toddlers being isolated from their parents in order to make an impression on teens as a form of birth control?! What the heck will they do next, baby swap? As if swapping wives; selecting a mate on T.V.; and filming your life for the world to see isn't enough, we have now officially established an agenda to damage children on national T.V.
To the parents who agreed to allow their children to be test subjects, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves and for the producers, I hope America has enough sense to send your ratings plummeting.
©2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI™ Certified Coach for Parents of Intuitives
Please read the following article with more details and research on how damaging this is!
ZERO TO THREE Statement Regarding NBC's Reality Series "Baby Borrowers"“It’s not TV, it’s birth control” is how NBC promotes its new reality series “Baby Borrowers.” On June 25th, the show will be launched on national television as an “intriguing new social experiment that asks five diverse teenage couples to fast-track to adulthood by setting up a home, getting a job and becoming caring parents.” Unfortunately, the NBC series exploits very young children in the pursuit of entertainment.
The babies and toddlers participating in this series will be separated from their parents and caregivers for three days. Unfamiliar teenagers will take care of them during this time. This setup can be very harmful for the babies and toddlers involved. For the past 80 years, many studies have shown unequivocally that babies and toddlers suffer when they are exposed to this kind of prolonged separation from family and left with people that they do not know or love. As all parents know, babies and toddlers are very distressed by separation. They cry, cling, and search for their parents. The longer the separation, the more upset they become. Some children are unable to sleep and refuse to eat. The responses routinely last long past the child’s reunion with the parent. Prolonged separations heighten young children’s separation anxiety and damage their trust that their parents will be available to protect and care for them. Children can become angry and rejecting of their parents after being reunited with them, damaging the fabric of the child-parent relationship.
These findings have become the basis for a new science of early childhood. A robust body of early childhood development and brain research clearly confirms the critical nature of early development. It is a time when young children form attachments with parents and caregivers, develop security and a sense of self, and learn what to expect from the world around them. Studies show that babies and toddlers need to feel safe and secure in order to form a positive sense of self, to form healthy relationships, and to feel confident to explore their world. This sense of security is dependent on the availability and stability of their trusted primary caregivers. Being separated for a
three-day period from a parent or trusted, familiar adult, and being thrust into the care of a total stranger who has no experience with the child—how he or she is comforted, likes to be fed, held, etc.—and who has no experience caring for young children at all, can be very stressful for the child.
As a “safeguard,” NBC has hired a nanny to be nearby in case there are concerns. However the nanny is no more familiar to that child than the two strangers who will be caring for him for three days. The nanny does not know him or what his signals
mean—such as what he needs when he cries out in the middle of the night, or how he shows he is hungry, tired, or is overwhelmed and needs a break from play. Moreover, even though the parents of these young children are watching via closed-circuit television, the babies are not aware of that and have no way of knowing how long the parents will be gone.
Legitimate social experiments are not conducted on national television or on reality shows. "Baby Borrowers" may have a catchy theme, but it exploits young children with potential harmful consequences. This is no social experiment. It is an extremely misguided endeavor that puts at risk our most vulnerable citizens, young children who need our love and protection.
We welcome your feedback on our ZERO TO THREE Alert at tsalyers@zerotothree.org.
ZERO TO THREE: National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families 2000 M St. NW | Suite 200 | Washington, DC | 20036 | (800) 899-4301 | (703) 661-1500
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tween or Teen
Many parents think the most critical time in their child's development is when they become a teen or reach puberty; although it is true this is a tumultuous time for both children and parents, the years leading up to the teen years or what we refer to today as the "tween" years just may be a more critical time in your child's life.
At age 9, children are faced with the reality (albeit subconscious in nature) that they are stuck between two worlds; the world of sitting on mommy's lap and the world of not being quite old enough to step fully into the shoes of a big boy. This is the time it is the most critical to develop a connected relationship with your child, because it will define who they become as an adult.
At age 9, children are faced with the reality (albeit subconscious in nature) that they are stuck between two worlds; the world of sitting on mommy's lap and the world of not being quite old enough to step fully into the shoes of a big boy. This is the time it is the most critical to develop a connected relationship with your child, because it will define who they become as an adult.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Thought for the Week of April 28th
Tune in, Listen, and Explore your child's emotional ups and downs. Often times when a child exhibits emotional outbursts or takes things out on the people around him, he is experiencing inner turmoil he may not be able to verbally communicate. By connecting with your child and discussing the behavior, you can often get to the root cause of the emotion. This will help your child release pent up feelings that would otherwise be stored in his body.
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Thought for the Week of April 21st
Do something for yourself. When your needs are met, you will have more energy and patience to do the things your children want you to do. In order to nurture the needs of others, you must first nurture your own needs.
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Upcoming Intuitive Teleclass
The teleclass Parenting Well Using Your Intuition is Wednesday April 23rd at 7pm EST. Space is limited so reserve your spot now!
Visit www.ParentingIntuitives.com for more information or click the link to the right of this post!
Visit www.ParentingIntuitives.com for more information or click the link to the right of this post!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Honor Your Child
Honor your child’s feelings about a person or experience. Adjust according to how your child feels; you will show your child you respect what they have to say and they will respect you for trusting their emotions.
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Take Care of You
Do something for yourself. When your needs are met, you will have more energy and patience to do the things your children want you to do. In order to nurture the needs of others, you must first nurture your own needs.
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Don't Hand Out Punishments In Anger
Be willing to be flexible while correcting your child. Punishments handed out while feeling frustration or anger are usually overreactions to how we are feeling in the moment.
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Monday, March 24, 2008
Shift Your Emotions
When you are feeling emotional upset within yourself, acknowledge the emotion and shift the feeling before you interact with your child. We all feel anger and frustration at times, but just as we teach our children not to take out their frustrations on things, animals, or people; neither should we.
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Friday, March 21, 2008
Reconnect With Your Child
Be willing to acknowledge, accept, and apologize for overreacting in a situation with your child. When you are willing to admit you are wrong, you show your child how to correct their own mistakes. They will respect your authority when they are doing something inappropriate.
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Monday, March 17, 2008
Trust your feelings about how to parent your child
“A mother understands what a child does not say.” –Jewish Proverb
Trusting your feeling when it comes to your child is the soundest advice anyone can give to a parent, because the truth is, there are no experts, only people who can offer you advice. The expert truly is you and every child is unique in their experience. Many parents with multiple children see evidence of this in the differences between each child. As different as they are with their looks, they have different personalities, temperaments, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes… you get the idea. As different as each child is, so is the advice you would need from a resource outside of yourself. The good news is you have a built in mechanism which if paid attention to, can offer you advice in any situation you find yourself in with your child. The mechanism I am referring to is your intuition; that inner knowing or nudge you feel when you are faced with a situation you are seeking an answer for.
©2008 by Tara Paterson, (excerpt from Parenting Well Using Your Intuition),
All Rights Reserved
Trusting your feeling when it comes to your child is the soundest advice anyone can give to a parent, because the truth is, there are no experts, only people who can offer you advice. The expert truly is you and every child is unique in their experience. Many parents with multiple children see evidence of this in the differences between each child. As different as they are with their looks, they have different personalities, temperaments, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes… you get the idea. As different as each child is, so is the advice you would need from a resource outside of yourself. The good news is you have a built in mechanism which if paid attention to, can offer you advice in any situation you find yourself in with your child. The mechanism I am referring to is your intuition; that inner knowing or nudge you feel when you are faced with a situation you are seeking an answer for.
©2008 by Tara Paterson, (excerpt from Parenting Well Using Your Intuition),
All Rights Reserved
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Parenting Well Using Your Intuition
We become dependent on too many resources outside of ourselves for guidance on parenting. We look to the latest books, advice from experts, family, friends, church, community, web sites, media, etc. What about finding your own inner knowing about how to parent your child? It is my intention to empower you as a parent to trust your feelings and intuition when it comes to raising your child.
I have always taken my role as a mom seriously. I have three children- a son (10), a son (6), and a daughter (2) and have been married for eleven years. It was important for me to be at home with my children, because it was the experience I had growing up and one I valued. I knew however, I needed to find a way to keep my heart’s passion burning or what would I have when my kid’s grew up and left home? I believe it’s much harder for parents to allow their children to grow naturally into who they are meant to become when they haven’t yet figured it out for themselves.
Through receiving my parent coach certification, I became aware of how much of our parenting style we inherit from our own parents without fully realizing some of the techniques we use are outdated for the time in which we live. This is where our intuition becomes vital in how we interact with our children. By uncovering some of the clutter we have carried over from our own upbringing, we can become fully present to the feeling or nudge within ourselves which act as a guide for how to parent our child. By using the techniques I will share in the coming weeks, I hope to empower each parent to create connected and loving families, while strengthening their own inner knowing about how to handle each situation they find themselves in with their child.
Enjoy! ~ Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI, 2008
I have always taken my role as a mom seriously. I have three children- a son (10), a son (6), and a daughter (2) and have been married for eleven years. It was important for me to be at home with my children, because it was the experience I had growing up and one I valued. I knew however, I needed to find a way to keep my heart’s passion burning or what would I have when my kid’s grew up and left home? I believe it’s much harder for parents to allow their children to grow naturally into who they are meant to become when they haven’t yet figured it out for themselves.
Through receiving my parent coach certification, I became aware of how much of our parenting style we inherit from our own parents without fully realizing some of the techniques we use are outdated for the time in which we live. This is where our intuition becomes vital in how we interact with our children. By uncovering some of the clutter we have carried over from our own upbringing, we can become fully present to the feeling or nudge within ourselves which act as a guide for how to parent our child. By using the techniques I will share in the coming weeks, I hope to empower each parent to create connected and loving families, while strengthening their own inner knowing about how to handle each situation they find themselves in with their child.
Enjoy! ~ Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
When Are We Good Enough
As a certified parent coach and a mom of three children of my own, the question always comes up "am I good parent?" "Why don't I trust myself and what if I am doing it all wrong!" Unfortunately, we don't come with a handbook for how to parent and as different as you and I are, so are each of our kids.
Over the years, I have found I was much harder on my oldest son than I am on my younger two. I guess it could be mainly because their temperments and styles are each different. My oldest son is driven, persistent, overbearing at times; all the qualities I am pleased he will have as an adult, but sometimes it works against us and in my human moments, I am sometimes left questioning myself too. My younger children don't test the boundaries as much so it would appear they don't tempt fate as often.
We do the best we know how to do at the time and the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the gift of trusting our skills and when we think we are doing it all wrong, remember we were given our children for a reason and all we can do is love ourselves enough to trust the outcome!
Over the years, I have found I was much harder on my oldest son than I am on my younger two. I guess it could be mainly because their temperments and styles are each different. My oldest son is driven, persistent, overbearing at times; all the qualities I am pleased he will have as an adult, but sometimes it works against us and in my human moments, I am sometimes left questioning myself too. My younger children don't test the boundaries as much so it would appear they don't tempt fate as often.
We do the best we know how to do at the time and the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the gift of trusting our skills and when we think we are doing it all wrong, remember we were given our children for a reason and all we can do is love ourselves enough to trust the outcome!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I Lost It
I pride myself on being an intuitive parent- present, empathetic to my children's needs; void of taking things personally; relatively non-emotional, but tonight I lost it. I flat out lost it with my oldest son. He is entering the pre-adolescent time of his life or "tween" years and he is beginning to develop feelings for girls. Well, one girl in particular.
Adam has adored Heather since first grade. I would say one year is a crush, but to have affection for a girl for four years is much more than a simple crush- it's puppy love. We have worked hard to nurture his heart and encourage the normal feelings to flow so when he asked if he could give her a Christmas gift, we agreed; when he expressed his desire to buy her a Valentine's gift, again we agreed; we even agreed to a birthday gift. When he asked if he could ask her out (because all of his friends were asking girls out), my husband had a conversation with her dad.
Her father confessed there was nothing about our son he could find fault with. He genuinely likes everything about him and allows only our son to call his daughter; so when we asked whether he would mind if Adam asked Heather out, he was okay with it (supervised of course). I had different feelings about it however. Heather is a very shy, private girl with interest in gymnastics and studying hard to keep up her grades. My intuition tells me she is not at all ready to think about boys. We shared this with Adam and encouraged him to develop a stronger friendship first and see what the summer brings.
Score:
Parents 0
Peers 1
He called and asked her if she would go out with him. She responded with "I don't know." Not really the answer a young boy wants to hear. To make matters worse, everyone in school is now discussing the turn of events as gossip runs the mill. The rumors he is hearing- she doesn't want to go out with him.
So how did I lose my cool and what caused me to lose my temper?
Adam is a sensitive, but behavioral child. He acts out his frustration through his physical being. The hurt he is feeling has caused a well of emotion to spring forth which he has decided to take out on his younger brother and sister. Though we have made several attempts to discuss how he is feeling about the situation, he continued to show aggression toward his siblings. The challenge soon became how to help him manage his emotions while at the same time managing my own.
I sent him to his room to decompress and separate him from his brother. I joined him to discuss his feelings and talk through the emotion. He shed some tears, said he felt better and came down for dinner. The talk didn't seem to have done much as he preceded to antagonize his brother yet again. This went on for an hour as he was sent upstairs a second time to work through his aggression.
This parenting thing is not easy, especially as we begin to deal with real emotions and matters of the heart. We apply several techniques in situations like this from deep breathing; to talking through the emotion; and even writing our feelings out on paper, but tonight I experienced an even more intense energy which will require more from my parenting intuition. Stay tuned as the story unfolds!
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Adam has adored Heather since first grade. I would say one year is a crush, but to have affection for a girl for four years is much more than a simple crush- it's puppy love. We have worked hard to nurture his heart and encourage the normal feelings to flow so when he asked if he could give her a Christmas gift, we agreed; when he expressed his desire to buy her a Valentine's gift, again we agreed; we even agreed to a birthday gift. When he asked if he could ask her out (because all of his friends were asking girls out), my husband had a conversation with her dad.
Her father confessed there was nothing about our son he could find fault with. He genuinely likes everything about him and allows only our son to call his daughter; so when we asked whether he would mind if Adam asked Heather out, he was okay with it (supervised of course). I had different feelings about it however. Heather is a very shy, private girl with interest in gymnastics and studying hard to keep up her grades. My intuition tells me she is not at all ready to think about boys. We shared this with Adam and encouraged him to develop a stronger friendship first and see what the summer brings.
Score:
Parents 0
Peers 1
He called and asked her if she would go out with him. She responded with "I don't know." Not really the answer a young boy wants to hear. To make matters worse, everyone in school is now discussing the turn of events as gossip runs the mill. The rumors he is hearing- she doesn't want to go out with him.
So how did I lose my cool and what caused me to lose my temper?
Adam is a sensitive, but behavioral child. He acts out his frustration through his physical being. The hurt he is feeling has caused a well of emotion to spring forth which he has decided to take out on his younger brother and sister. Though we have made several attempts to discuss how he is feeling about the situation, he continued to show aggression toward his siblings. The challenge soon became how to help him manage his emotions while at the same time managing my own.
I sent him to his room to decompress and separate him from his brother. I joined him to discuss his feelings and talk through the emotion. He shed some tears, said he felt better and came down for dinner. The talk didn't seem to have done much as he preceded to antagonize his brother yet again. This went on for an hour as he was sent upstairs a second time to work through his aggression.
This parenting thing is not easy, especially as we begin to deal with real emotions and matters of the heart. We apply several techniques in situations like this from deep breathing; to talking through the emotion; and even writing our feelings out on paper, but tonight I experienced an even more intense energy which will require more from my parenting intuition. Stay tuned as the story unfolds!
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Intuitive Recall
I have always been a very sensitive person. As a child, I can remember reference to it as though there was something wrong with me- "oh, you're so sensitive or too sensitive," or "you don't have to make such a big deal about everything..."
Can you remember people saying things like this to you?
I guess when these things are said to you enough; you begin to shut down the sensitive- feeling side of yourself, because it hurts too much.
It wasn't until I became a parent and realized my own children's sensitivities that I began to discover this is a very real part of some people's core being, it's who we are. It's actually what being intuitive in this world means for us- being sensitive and not being understood by the world around us. So I would start by discarding things that were said to me and made a vow not to say such things to my kids. I made the commitment to become an intuitive parent for my children- one they could trust and be who they were meant to be with.
I recall several experiences when I was a child of being accused of lying. It devastated me as a child, because I was not a liar and most often was accused of being dishonest at times I wasn't doing anything wrong. When my oldest son was around the age of 7, I can remember accusing him of lying about something while he emphatically stated he wasn't lying and it occurred to me- I was doing to him exactly what was done to me! So I apologized to him and we had a conversation about how the same thing had been done to me and I made a commitment not to do it to him. Big points for mom let me tell you!
If you remember some of these experiences from your own childhood, I welcome you to share your stories with this intuitive blog. You're not alone and together we can bring consciousness to parenting by using our intuition.
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
Can you remember people saying things like this to you?
I guess when these things are said to you enough; you begin to shut down the sensitive- feeling side of yourself, because it hurts too much.
It wasn't until I became a parent and realized my own children's sensitivities that I began to discover this is a very real part of some people's core being, it's who we are. It's actually what being intuitive in this world means for us- being sensitive and not being understood by the world around us. So I would start by discarding things that were said to me and made a vow not to say such things to my kids. I made the commitment to become an intuitive parent for my children- one they could trust and be who they were meant to be with.
I recall several experiences when I was a child of being accused of lying. It devastated me as a child, because I was not a liar and most often was accused of being dishonest at times I wasn't doing anything wrong. When my oldest son was around the age of 7, I can remember accusing him of lying about something while he emphatically stated he wasn't lying and it occurred to me- I was doing to him exactly what was done to me! So I apologized to him and we had a conversation about how the same thing had been done to me and I made a commitment not to do it to him. Big points for mom let me tell you!
If you remember some of these experiences from your own childhood, I welcome you to share your stories with this intuitive blog. You're not alone and together we can bring consciousness to parenting by using our intuition.
© 2008 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI
All Rights Reserved
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Tara Paterson