Friday, June 5, 2009

How Beliefs Bury a Child's Intuition


I borrowed this first paragraph from my daily Morning Blessing. I felt it spoke volumes for the way parents pass their beliefs onto their children without giving a thought to how it can bury their child's own intuitive knowing.

How do you train elephants? They are too powerful to put in cages, so you must start to control elephants when they are very young. First you put a six-foot chain around one of their legs and shackle them to a stake. Gradually, they learn to walk around and around that stake. They learn that the length of that chain is their boundary. Later, when they are strong and powerful, it never occurs to them that they can break that chain or pull up that stake.

This is a true story for how elephants are contained by humans. Parents do the same thing to their children. We assume because we have been taught a specific set of beliefs it's true for everyone, especially our children. In many families, if a child were to form a different opinion about something like- religion, right and wrong, career choices, likes and dislikes, acceptance of others; they would be told all of the reasons their feelings were not accurate. They would be sat down, talked to and coerced to believe what the parents wanted their child to believe. Sounds a lot like the story of the elephant.

Do we treat our children the way humans have been treating animals for centuries? I'll leave that up to you.

Children have a strong connection to their intuition from the time they are born. They have a totally different way of looking at the world around them and the people in it. They are void of judgments, opinions, and belief systems. Often, children are conditioned by negative beliefs that they hear repeatedly when they are young. When they hear the opinions of others, it becomes a seed planted and nurtured by the adults around them. If the child disagrees with the belief they are being told is real, a lack of trust begins to develop. This creates distrust in oneself and the people around them. Whatever beliefs are held become their reality.

Allow your children to have their own set of beliefs. Modeling for your child the values and morals you want them to have is the greatest way to teach them what you believe is appropriate or not. Hearing what they say and honoring their opinions gives them the inner confidence they will need to go out into the world and function successfully. The best thing a parent can do is teach their child to trust themself.

If you are concerned your child believes something you don't agree with, what scares you about that? Is it something you might believe, but are afraid to admit? Look at your own set of beliefs. Do they fit into today's world? Are you afraid to let go because it's unchartered territory?

Reflect on some of these thoughts. One can change their beliefs more easily than the lack of trust created between a child and their parent.

©2009 by Tara Paterson, All Rights Reserved

1 comment:

Lisa Jo Rudy said...

I agree: listening is key. It's "power of small" thing - a small part of the package, but it makes a huge difference in kids' sense of self.

Lisa


Tara Paterson

Tara Paterson

A certified coach for parents of intuitives and the co-author of the book- Raising Intuitive Children (New Page Books, '09), Tara Paterson is raising 4 highly intuitive children with her husband. She is a corporate spokesperson, a syndicated columnist, parent advisor, and author of 100 plus parenting and spiritual articles.

Tara is available for private coaching, presentations, lectures, and workshops. Contact Tara at parentcoach@justformom.com or visit JustForMom.com